working on my relationship with music
For a long time now, I have felt music differently than I used to. As I got deeper into producing music it fundamentally changed the way that I listen to it. In a lot of ways, it is no longer art to me. It is incredibly rare that music moves me. I used to be moved by music all the time. It would make me cry, make me daydream, give me goosebumps, open my imagination, and stoke my belief in the world. Now it feels like most of the time it is a problem I'm trying to solve. A formula I'm following, a list of boxes I'm trying to check. I fell in love with music because it was, for me, the vessel I used to experience this world. It allowed for the real to be surreal. It communicated in a way that words didn't. It was harmonious, ordered, chaotic, balanced, spiritual, fantastical, hopeful, and honest. Now, instead of writing for that reason, I find myself writing to get playlisted on Spotify.
Spotify...
That is probably the best and worst thing that has ever happened to music. Access is wonderful. Being able to upload music and spread it to the world is a great thing. At the same time. I don't think music on mass is the same anymore. I don't think we write music for the right reasons anymore. At least, a lot of us. I know that I suffer from that problem.
I've been trying to listen to more music that used to move me, regardless of what people think is popular these days, or what's 'In'. I recently listened back to the album 'Mylo Xyloto' by Coldplay, and I rediscovered a song that used to really hit me. 'Us Against the World'. I have always had this fascination with metaphor, myth, and religious or "Spiritual" language in music. I don't know what it is really. I think it probably has something to do with hope. I am a pessimistic person by nature. To me, hope and optimism are things you have to actively choose. There is tremendous power in choosing hope over despair, love over hate, selflessness over self, humility over ego. NONE of those things come naturally to me. Music is one of the tools that used to help me center myself. I rely on it heavily to move me to be a better man, and when I don't allow myself to sit in it, and be moved by it, I am not the man I would like to be. I don't know that I believe in a higher power, sometimes I do and sometimes I don't, but when we choose to write music in hopes that there is some sort of power outside ourselves that can help us be better people, I am moved to be better. I thought I'd post the lyrics to Coldplay's 'Us Against The World' here:
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US AGAINST THE WORLD
Oh morning come bursting the clouds, amen
Lift off this blindfold, let me see again
Bring back the water, let your ships roll in
In my heart she left a hole
The tightrope that I'm walking just sways and ties
The devil as he’s talking with those angel’s eyes
And I just wanna be there when the lightning strikes
And the saints go marching in
And sing slow it down
Through chaos as it swirls
It's us against the world
Like a river to a raindrop
I lost a friend
My drunken hazard Daniel in a lion's den
And tonight I know it all has to begin again
So whatever you do
Don't let go
And if we could float away
Fly up to the surface and just start again
And lift off before trouble just erodes us in the rain
Just erodes us in the rain
Just erodes us and see roses in the rain saying
Slow it down
Slow it down
Through chaos as it swirls
It's us against the world
Through chaos as it swirls
It's us against the world
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I hope all of you are able to find music that moves you.
Much Love,
Cole